Aby Life – A Better You

Tag: Mother

  • Mother’s Work : Work or take care of the children?

    Mother’s Work : Work or take care of the children?

    I always saw mothers struggling in their daily lives because of the struggle to balance their personal and professional lives. New ones, in particular, find themselves in difficult situations faced with enormous burdens and responsibilities that continue to increase day by day.

    I only truly felt the gravity of this concern for a mother when my first nephew was born. I saw and felt the struggle my sister faced every day with her baby. She had to take care of her job, her baby, and her home. The mission was difficult, but not impossible!

     

    Work-life balance

    The presence of children in every woman’s life is essential and desirable. But having a stable job, and therefore a stable source of income, is just as important as having children. However, there are only 24 hours in a day, and this number is always very small and insufficient for working, caring for children, managing the home, and taking care of oneself. The challenge, therefore, is to find an optimal balance for these four points while maintaining a healthy mind and continued motivation.

    The concern therefore comes not only from the presence of children and their responsibilities, but also from all the other daily tasks that must be well organized and taken care of.

    This causes what is called mom’s fatigue : https://abylife.net/mommy-fatigue-im-a-mom-and-im-tired/

     

    mother work

     

    Mother’s time Management

    The first key to the success of each assignment is proper organization and planning. You will therefore need to start by identifying a list of daily tasks and planning each one as best as possible.

    Here are some examples of common tasks and their planning:

    – Children’s Meals: Plan the weekly meal list, do essential shopping on the weekend, and specify set preparation times.

    – School Clothes and Supplies: Help children prepare their belongings and clothes in the evening before bed.

    – Early Morning Wake-Up: Ensure children go to bed early and prohibit any access to electronic devices before bed.

    – Homework Preparation: Set times for homework and provide a little help and follow-up for the children.

     

    Workplace Adjustments

    Regular work schedules and routines may prove inconvenient with the new responsibilities of a baby or children, especially if the company or boss is intolerant of employees’ personal circumstances.

    However, there are some solutions that can help establish the desired work-life balance:

    – Consider the possibility of working remotely, either fully or partially.

    – If the nature of the job allows, seek flexible working hours.

    – Request the possibility of compressed working hours.

    – Ask colleagues for help on days with high family responsibilities.

    – Communicate with your boss and request temporary exceptional working conditions.

     

    Mother’s upport and Personal Well-Being

    The importance of support from loved ones in caring for children and the home should not be overlooked when the mother is a working woman. The first person who can help is certainly the father. If he is understanding and supportive, he will provide a lot of assistance to the mom by taking care of some household chores, either completely or partially, or simply looking after the children from time to time.

    Help from other loved ones is also important, especially sisters or grandmothers.

    The last option is daycare or daycare for those who cannot rely on help from loved ones.

    This support is essential, particularly for the mom’s physical and mental well-being. It gives her time to:

    – Work or take care of other responsibilities without worrying about her children

    – Take time off for her personal well-being (going out with friends or doing hobbies)

    – Simply rest

    Mother help

     

    If all these solutions do not work, it is sometimes useful to seek help from a psychologist or decide to take a long leave from work or leave for a few years so that the children grow up a little and can take care of some of their own needs.

     

  • Mommy Fatigue : I’m a mom and I’m tired!

    Mommy Fatigue : I’m a mom and I’m tired!

    I was in my car, driving back from the gym early one afternoon, as usual.  I was listening to the radio and came across an interesting show in which two hosts read random stories from people online, choosing one a day to discuss with listeners.

    Today’s topic was important and one of the most ignored topics in all societies : mom’s fatigue . The person who wrote the story said she was a new mother of a 6-month-old baby. She loved him more than anything, but the enormous efforts she was making to take care of him and the house at the same time made her very tired as the days went by. She tried to talk about it with her husband, but he considered it a non-negotiable duty, and therefore, she shouldn’t complain. Her mother, for her part, told her it was completely normal and that she needed to be more patient with her little baby’s eyes.

    Tired mom

    Lack of communication and misunderstanding:

    The mother found herself without anyone to listen to her, and above all, to understand her. Her suffering multiplied day after day, and she felt the depression of slowly getting closer.

    Listeners’ opinions varied, with those who understood her perfectly, having experienced or observed the same situation in their lives, and those who considered it ‘normal,’ just like the husband and mother.

    What most people don’t understand is that this mother’s situation and what she’s feeling is actually the accumulation of several fatigues over several days. Sometimes this mother and other mothers are forced to use much more energy and effort to complete even more tasks to manage children issues and take on more responsibilities. Those mothers couldn’t find the time or the means, or didn’t realize that they needed to get rid of this fatigue and these negative feelings in order to continue thieir lifes as they normally do.

     

    Normal mom fatigue from intense work:

    We, as human beings, all experience this feeling of fatigue from performing the same tasks every day with the same intensity. As the days go by, the more this work tires us, and this is completely normal. However, what is not normal is to continue this work without taking time to relieve fatigue or a break, and to consider this as ‘normal’.

    Mom support

    Take breaks to de-stress:

    Therefore, the main problem this mother faces, which people fail to understand, is the lack of this ‘vent’ or ‘break’ that would visibly reduce the fatigue she feels and take away severe risks on her health.

    It should be noted that mothers often understand that they are tired and need one or more breaks, but also believe they cannot do so because they believe there is no one who can replace them and continue their daily tasks. This is obviously false because no one is irreplaceable for a few hours or days.

    What to do in this mother’s case is therefore easy and doable with a little help from those close to her: dedicate time to herself from time to time to be able to take short breaks and regain her energy to continue her work without overwhelming fatigue. This is possible if the husband, a relative, or even a nanny takes care of the baby for a few hours, giving the mother time to rest and regain her energy.

    As for the mother, she has many options for these breaks. The important thing is that she engages in an activity that makes her feel good and that allows her to truly de-stress afterward.

    All she needs to do is start by improving her communication with her loved ones, explaining her condition and possible solutions, and beginning to test them.