I was in my car, driving back from the gym early one afternoon, as usual. I was listening to the radio and came across an interesting show in which two hosts read random stories from people online, choosing one a day to discuss with listeners.
Today’s topic was important and one of the most ignored topics in all societies : mom’s fatigue . The person who wrote the story said she was a new mother of a 6-month-old baby. She loved him more than anything, but the enormous efforts she was making to take care of him and the house at the same time made her very tired as the days went by. She tried to talk about it with her husband, but he considered it a non-negotiable duty, and therefore, she shouldn’t complain. Her mother, for her part, told her it was completely normal and that she needed to be more patient with her little baby’s eyes.
Lack of communication and misunderstanding:
The mother found herself without anyone to listen to her, and above all, to understand her. Her suffering multiplied day after day, and she felt the depression of slowly getting closer.
Listeners’ opinions varied, with those who understood her perfectly, having experienced or observed the same situation in their lives, and those who considered it ‘normal,’ just like the husband and mother.
What most people don’t understand is that this mother’s situation and what she’s feeling is actually the accumulation of several fatigues over several days. Sometimes this mother and other mothers are forced to use much more energy and effort to complete even more tasks to manage children issues and take on more responsibilities. Those mothers couldn’t find the time or the means, or didn’t realize that they needed to get rid of this fatigue and these negative feelings in order to continue thieir lifes as they normally do.
Normal mom fatigue from intense work:
We, as human beings, all experience this feeling of fatigue from performing the same tasks every day with the same intensity. As the days go by, the more this work tires us, and this is completely normal. However, what is not normal is to continue this work without taking time to relieve fatigue or a break, and to consider this as ‘normal’.
Take breaks to de-stress:
Therefore, the main problem this mother faces, which people fail to understand, is the lack of this ‘vent’ or ‘break’ that would visibly reduce the fatigue she feels and take away severe risks on her health.
It should be noted that mothers often understand that they are tired and need one or more breaks, but also believe they cannot do so because they believe there is no one who can replace them and continue their daily tasks. This is obviously false because no one is irreplaceable for a few hours or days.
What to do in this mother’s case is therefore easy and doable with a little help from those close to her: dedicate time to herself from time to time to be able to take short breaks and regain her energy to continue her work without overwhelming fatigue. This is possible if the husband, a relative, or even a nanny takes care of the baby for a few hours, giving the mother time to rest and regain her energy.
As for the mother, she has many options for these breaks. The important thing is that she engages in an activity that makes her feel good and that allows her to truly de-stress afterward.
All she needs to do is start by improving her communication with her loved ones, explaining her condition and possible solutions, and beginning to test them.
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